Talking About M2m Sex
An Open Discussion Without Performance
Sex is one of the few subjects everyone is expected to understand, yet few have ever spoken about truthfully.
Most of what passes for sexual knowledge comes from imitation—images, anecdotes, and inherited silences.
We learn how to perform long before we learn how to speak.
An open conversation about sex is not a sexual conversation.
It is a conversation in which the topic is allowed to exist without censorship or performance—without the usual reflex to hide, impress, or apologise.
It does not promise an experience.
It simply offers the freedom to speak of experience as it is, or has been, or might be imagined.
The loss of meaning
The word sex once meant division: the point at which one thing becomes two.
Later it came to mean the joining of those two things.
In both senses, it describes relationship. But the modern world has flattened it into act, into something one does rather than something one experiences.
In this narrowing, sex lost its quiet intelligence.
It ceased to be conversation between bodies and became instead a demonstration—an outcome measured in release.
The mistaken synonym
Intimacy is not sex. Sex can be intimate, but it is not the same thing.
To be intimate is to make known.
It is possible to speak intimately, to laugh intimately, to sit in silence intimately. The body is not excluded from that knowing, but neither is it the goal.
When men conflate intimacy with sex, they confuse exposure with revelation.
The former requires no courage; the latter demands it.
Curiosity without consequence
Many men arrive with questions they have never said aloud.
About attraction, curiosity, memory, fantasy. They have been taught that to even wonder is to cross a line.
Here, there are no lines to cross, because there is nowhere forbidden to look—only ways of looking that are honest or evasive.
To speak openly about sex is not to confess. It is to describe, to understand, and sometimes to release the power that secrecy has held over the subject.
For some men, this includes curiosity about other men.
It is not unusual, and it need not be defined.
Labels like gay, straight, or bi-curious are conveniences, not identities.
In conversation, the label matters less than the language you use with yourself.
When you can name what you feel without fear, you already know more than most.
The purpose of such a conversation
To speak of sex openly is to practice peace at the most human level: to reclaim what has been hidden behind anxiety, humour, or performance.
The aim is not to reach a conclusion but to meet the body’s truth with the same calm attention given to breath or silence.
If arousal or embarrassment arises, they are treated as weather—conditions passing through.
Nothing to fix, nothing to hide, nothing to prove.
To know yourself sexually is to see the full landscape of your being, not just its peaks. You may never need to act on what you discover.
You only need to see it clearly and kindly.
In closing
Sex, like peace, is a way of being, not a thing to achieve.
It begins in attention, not technique.
To speak openly about sex is to lay down the burden of pretence and allow language to return to its original function: not to persuade, not to perform, but to reveal.
It was a genuine pleasure to be met with insight, openness, and mutual affection, free from the pressures that often push men to impress or outdo one another.
