Beyond Right And Wrong
The Truth And Touch Of Personal Balance
In the landscape of human connection, one of the most persistent and damaging misconceptions is that there exists a right and wrong way to touch — or to be touched.
This binary, inherited from childhood lessons and cultural taboos, builds a framework of judgement that obstructs the path to authentic self-awareness and intimacy.
In truth, touch — when honest and non-performative — transcends such categories. It is not governed by rules but by the deeper logic of consent, presence, and resonance. In the Practice of Peace, a man is not taught a new code of conduct.
He is invited to unlearn the old judgements that have long clouded his relationship with his body and his capacity for closeness.
The Fear That Polices Connection
The idea of a “wrong touch” is often born of fear — a protective mechanism designed to maintain social order but which, over time, becomes an internal censor.
Many men carry this censor within them: an anxious vigilance that monitors every gesture for possible misinterpretation or shame. This constant self-surveillance kills spontaneity, making genuine connection feel risky.
The Practice of Peace dissolves this fear by redefining consent as a living, moment-to-moment dialogue rather than a static agreement.
It proposes attunement — the ability to read and respect one’s own and another’s changing comfort.
In this space, the worth of a touch lies not in its form but in its intention. An awkward hug offered with care is not “wrong,” and a flawless gesture devoid of presence is not “right”.
The meaning is held not in technique but in the field of trust that surrounds it.
Re-educating the Nervous System
The notion of “wrong” touch is deeply entangled with the history of emotional repression, particularly in men.
When touch has been sexualised, commodified, or disciplined out of daily life, even gentle contact can feel unsafe.
The Practice of Peace provides a radical re-education — a quiet restoration of the body’s natural literacy.
Within the safety of consensual, platonic contact, a man can rediscover that touch is not a transaction but a form of presence. Relaxation and mutual male massage serve here not as technique but as language — ways to re-sensitise the nervous system to calm, nurturing contact.
In this space, care is given and received for its own sake.
The body, freed from expectation, becomes something to inhabit, not perform.
The Collapse of Judgement
Ultimately, the distinction between right and wrong dissolves in the light of self-acceptance.
When a man has learned to trust his body’s signals and respect his own boundaries, he no longer needs external rules to govern connection.
His compass is internal — a balance guided by awareness and respect.
The goal of the Practice of Peace is not to replace one doctrine with another, but to move beyond doctrine altogether.
It invites a man to discover that the only “right” touch is the one offered in authentic presence, and the only “wrong” one is the one that denies it.
In this way, touch becomes not something to perfect, but a way to practice peace itself — a return to balance, through the body, in quiet truth.
Our mutual touch was a revelation. It re-calibrated my system. I was so used to touch being aggressive or sexual that I’d forgotten what nurturing touch felt like. It showed me my body wasn't just for 'doing,' but for 'being cared for'.
