Is it normal for a straight man to have fantasies about m2m sex?

Updated: | 3 mins read

I’ve always considered myself a straight man but I’ve also had these odd fantasies and questions about m2m sex. The kind that made me wonder if I was abnormal.

And it was starting to weigh heavily on my mind. I had so many unanswered questions about gay sex…

I knew no one I could ask and it made me feel even more isolated… and that nearly drove me insane.

I used to believe my sexual desires should fit into a neat little compartment. But I sometimes wondered if there was maybe something more exciting beyond my traditional hetero world.

I decided to look online for someone who might be willing to explain things to me. I found Geoffrey’s web page and it was obvious he’d already had tons of experience with confused straight men like me… and he knows heaps about gay sex too. If anyone could help, I knew it’d be him.

Stripping off more than our clothes

I vividly remember the first day I knocked on his door, unsure of what awaited me on the other side. But his welcoming smile and invitation to enter his home immediately put me at ease.

I’d read on his site that each session was clothing-optional and I was keen to get naked and perve on him too, so I quickly undressed and we sat together on his comfortable sofa.

I was still a bit nervous though I was surprised that I didn’t feel self-conscious or shy. I truly appreciated how he made me feel comfortable and relaxed first. We chatted briefly about this and that until I was ready to tell him why I’d visited.

Feeling a mix of fear tinged with excitement—and being naked there was no hiding that—I finally decided to tell him that I was straight but curious about gay sex and I had heaps of questions. And how I wanted to be sure I wasn’t some kind of abnormal weirdo before I started experimenting.

He told me straight-up that being normal was a social myth. And he added that labelling myself wasn’t helpful because it got in the way of finding out who I really was.

Talking together about gay sex

He said I could ask him about anything at all—sex, intimacy, men’s bodies—even if I thought it was weird or off-topic. And just like that we began an absorbing conversation that became a turning point in my life.

He’s great at describing sex so that I could feel the sensations as he talked about them. That was very sensual and arousing, I can tell you.

We didn’t have physical sex together, which was a bit disappointing because being naked together really turned me on… him too. But, as he said, he wanted me to understand that being naked made it much easier to shed my inhibitions and open up about my thoughts and feelings.

And he was right: I wasn’t nervous. I didn’t feel a need to show off or compete with him. I could simply be myself, throbbing erections and all. And let me tell you, it was liberating!

Who wants to be boringly normal, anyway?

As I told him more about my fantasies, often in great detail like I was describing a porno, I discovered they were not as peculiar as I’d initially thought.

What’s more I wasn’t alone or weird or strange because he’d spoken with hundreds of men who wanted to explore the same things.

It was a revelation that brought me immense relief and comfort. I no longer felt like a misfit but part of a diverse spectrum of male sexuality.

We discussed various resources, books and even online communities where I could connect with like-minded men. Suddenly, the world felt a lot bigger and I no longer felt like an outsider.

Spending all those pleasurable, insightful hours with Geoffrey, I learned that it’s okay to question and explore my sexuality. It doesn’t define who I am and there’s no need to feel ashamed or strange about it. Or to label myself.

We all have different desires and interests. There is no “normal”. We all have our quirks and fantasies and that’s what makes us who we are. And we’re “allowed” to have our own preferences and inclinations so long as we always find partners who consent, naturally.

So, if you find yourself questioning your sanity, don’t hesitate to seek support. You might just discover that you’re not as weird as you’ve believed.