Sometimes called the "male P-spot", the prostate is located a few inches inside the rectum. Run your fingers along the ridges of this walnut-shaped gland to give a man pleasure.
If you are fucking a man, this is the spot to aim for.
Not only does manipulating the prostate produce pleasurable sensations - including tightening and loosening of the arse muscles, which adds to the sensations in your penis or fingers - but it can make a considerable difference to the force and quantity of ejaculation when your partner climaxes.
How to finger a man's arse
As with any sexual encounter it pays to be prepared: the inside of a man's arse is soft and sensitive. So make sure your fingernails are short with no ragged edges. After all, the aim is to give pleasure not cause pain or injury.
Start by lubricating your hand and fingers with oil or water-based lubricant. This will make it easier to slide inside. (It helps if the recipient has lubricated his arse hole too. I always make sure I'm well oiled before being fingered.)
You can also use saliva or, of course, rim his arse prior to fingering him, making sure his hole is moist and receptive.
Slowly does it
While the temptation may be to frig his hole rapidly, as though it is your cock pounding his insides, it is more comfortable and enjoyable to move slowly.
Take the opportunity to discover his insides: feel along the sides, massage his prostate, enjoy the warmth and the way his arse responds to your explorations.
You may be fingering him as a prelude to fucking or as an end in itself. If the former, apart from teasing and delighting him, you'll use your fingers to stretch and loosen his hole, readying him to accept your cock when the time seems right.
You may also be fingering him because it feels good for both of you.
For many men, myself included, having a man's fingers inside me while I'm kissing him or sucking his cock (or really at any time) makes me hornier and focusses my attention even more on his pleasure.
You're aiming to massage his prostate, which is usually about 2 knuckles deep inside: slightly more than an inch.
You'll know when you've hit the spot: when you feel a walnut-like shape.
Massage this by pressing a finger firmly but gently back and forth, tracing an outline across or up and down. Crook your finger back and forth.
If he's moaning or writhing, you'll know you have reached his sweet spot.
You can also pay attention to the ring of muscle at the opening of his arse. Try pulling one way or another. Feel as far along the inner walls as you can manage.
You'll feel the tightening and loosening of his arse muscles on your finger. Massaging his prostate can make a considerable difference to the force and quantity of his ejaculation.
Two or more fingers
Once you have thoroughly explored his insides with one finger, he may be ready for you to try two or three.
The easiest way to insert two fingers is to place your forefinger on top of your second finger and ease them both inside. Then separate your fingers.
The further apart you stretch them, the more you'll loosen the tight muscular ring of the hole. The deeper inside you slide your two digits, the easier it will be to spread your fingers apart.
Seek out his prostate again and slide both fingers across it. Or, keeping your fingers together, stroke the bulb on either side.
Now you can slide your fingers in and almost out, mimicking the action of your cock in his arse.
Or remove your fingers entirely and insert you thumb. Twist your hand around so your thumb pad is pressed against his prostate. Place your palm along his perineum - the stretch of skin between his arse hole and balls.
As you feel along this muscle, locate the pea-shaped indentation, usually an inch or less below his balls. This is external point of his prostate. massage it at the same speed as you move your thumb internally.
Using toys, plugs and dildos
Aneros prostate massager
For those who want the added sensuality of an internal prostate massage, I recommend they purchase and bring their own anal toys. The best one I have discovered is the Aneros prostate massager. (link opens in new window)
The Aneros gently stimulates your prostate, perineum, rectum and anus creating deep pleasure probably unlike what you have felt before.
As you get more excited the Aneros responds by providing more stimulation (as a result of your muscle activity). The motion of the Aneros ranges from very subtle, where you aren't sure it is moving, to perceptible small distance stroking to large bold strokes that feel like receptive intercourse.
As you tilt your pelvis or suck in your stomach muscles, it rubs against the prostate. While inserted during my skilled masturbation, you can have the experience of being penetrated yet with full control over the effects on your prostate.
Your erection will be stronger and your ability to control your orgasm or delay ejaculation will be significantly improved.
Cock ring and butt plug
The aptly named Explorer II consists of a cock ring and a flexible butt plug. It's the newest addition to my personal collection of plugs. It's so soft and comfortable, you can wear it all day long.
The cock ring encircles your penis and scrotum to create a more sensitive, veiny, and powerful erection that will last longer.
The slick plug targets your prostate so that every movement sends pleasure coursing through your body. Made of nonporous and phthalate-free silicone that is easy to clean and sterilize with mild soap and warm water.
A solid alternative is the Rudeboy
The RudeBoy stimulates both the perineum and prostate simultaneously using a unique design and vibrating charge.
The one-touch bullet vibe at the end will deliver strong vibes during use and sits underneath the perineum area. The soft and flexible high-quality silicone feels comfortable inside the anus and against the skin.
The Rude Boy is 100% waterproof, so it can be used in a hot, relaxing bath, shower or hot tub. The angled shape is for ease of insertion and to fit comfortably against the perineum.
For hands-free operation, you rock back and forth, which you may do anyway, when you experience the pleasures that this stimulator provides.
I keep coming back for an erotic massage with you because I trust you. I always feel safe and you're always polite, caring and gentle. I like that I can tell you anything and I know no one else will ever know.
Tell me when you want to come for body slide and play.