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What should I think about during sex?

How do I get rid of anxieties? Do I have to go to a psychiatrist? It's hard to get over my worries. Every time I have sex, I can't stop thinking about not having an erection. It's very annoying. What should I do? What should I think about during sex? Should I concentrate on having an erection? When I do that I become more worried that I won't have an erection.

Why don't you give yourself a break? Be a bit easier on yourself. Sex is not a competition.

Some important points you may have missed while you were out of the room:

1. Many men do not achieve ejaculation solely from penetrative intercourse. That means you don't need an erection, you need fingers, a tongue and a good technique.

2. Having an erection is not vital to enjoying sex. I often massage men without erections - they still ejaculate. And enjoy themselves.

3. Thinking about anything other than what you are doing during sex leads to more problems than you can poke a soft penis at.

How to stop anxiety? There are 3 ways: wallow in anxiety and then stop, think about something else or try deep breathing:

1. Set aside about 10 minutes every day to worry. Sit somewhere comfortable and concentrate on all the horrible, embarrassing, disastrous things that can or could happen to you. Wallow in them, feeling every nuance. If you can't find enough to worry about, think of all the things that have happened to you that have already been excruciatingly horrible. After 10 minutes, stop thinking about all worries and get on with your life. If you feel an anxiety arising during the day, set it aside for your next 10 minute anxiety session.

2. Next time you feel anxious, imagine a monkey sitting at the top of a tree. Then stop thinking about the monkey. If you can't stop yourself from thinking about the monkey, you're not trying hard enough.

3. Breath in slowly and then counting to 4, breathe out. Hold for a count of 4 then breathe in for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 4, then breathe out for a count of 4. Repeat slowly.