Body  Penis  Masturbation  Penetration  Ejaculation  Problems

Talking of penis enlargement...

Welcome to the pill that will solve all your problems, make you a powerful man and attract the kind of women who like to be dominated. It's a pill for any man who feels he is lacking that vital element that assures other men that he is a real man: a humungous schlong.

The manufacturers claim that SSOLong, which contains the active ingredient, itslongerthanurs will make your penis the envy of everyone in just a few days. What's more, SSOLong will make you a better, more attractive and more dominant lover.

In a matter of days, envious naked men in locker rooms will cower before the enormity of your truncheon, their own weenies shrivelling in fright at your awesome sexual power. As you charge to the showers, your dongle dangling and your balls aflapping against your firm manly thighs, you will "radiate confidence and success".

Your entire life will improve in all sorts of ways, especially if you reveal yourself in all your glory to the woman in your life. Always assuming, of course, that there is a woman in your life. I would have thought that your previously microscopic penis had deterred all women.

In any case, when she sees how massive and manly, how truly long and hard you've grown, she will surrender and "give you everything you have always wanted":

"As you drive your penis deep inside her she'll gasp as you dominate her. And the intense satisfaction you give her will be the BEST sex she has ever had."

Do you hear that, men? These pills make you a better lover. And they make you feel good, which isn't surprising since the pills contain itslongerthanurs, a mood enhancer if ever there was one. As one devotee says, taking the pills even after you've attained the maximum size makes you feel good:

"They give me a real boost like a vitamin, and I actually feel better."

What's more there's nothing dangerous in the pills which are made from herbs gathered from around the world. So you can keep taking them forever. Or at least until your woman, who was prepared to give you everything, complains:

"My girlfriend says I'm too big, so I've stopped taking the pills for now."

Don't despair, as another afficionado puts it:

"My hard-on is so powerful I feel like I got a tree trunk between my legs. I'm at 8 inches now and I'm going to keep going. Why the hell not?"

And really, why the hell not?

If you're the sort of man who spends more time thinking about the size of your penis (and its impact in men's locker rooms) than you do on working out how to have more fun with the one you've already got, I'd suggest you get yourself a year's supply of SSOLong (with itslongerthanurs).

What better than a pill with no side effects - apart from the feeling that your penis has grown 3 inches and that your woman likes you more. Except, of course, you can't buy this dream pill: it doesn't exist.